Although I deeply believe in the profound and healing effects of sensitivity, and I agree that we should not knowingly use offensive terms, our own compassion must extend to those less considerate to give them the benefit of our doubt. We must decide to have faith that in most cases, others mean no lasting harm. Words don’t hold the same significance or meaning to everyone. Another’s tone or expression may imply something malevolent to us, but in actuality, hold no lasting malice.
Much of the way we speak and present ourselves is a reflection of our immediate environment. It might not be identical to the expressions of those around us, but it is influenced by them. Obviously, the child who hears slang or curse words all the time is more likely to use them than is the child who rarely hears them. So, there’s no point in taking too much exception to the way people speak, or worse, using our own lack of understanding to justify our own unfairness. Most of our behaviour is a matter of habit. As for preference, well that’s an entirely different issue. It’s fine to prefer the company of people who don’t curse. It’s also fine to prefer the company of those who do. But let’s not get it mixed up with morality or with who is more or less worthy of our own integrity!
- If you have ever said anything in your entire life out of anger or stress that later you hoped would be excused and forgotten, then you must extend the same understanding and forgiveness to others.
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